Murphy's Laws of Knitting

I've been a bit cynical and sarcastic lately (have you noticed?), so I compiled this list. Feel free to leave comments with any additions...

• Your sweater gauge is directly proportional (but never equal) to your knitted swatch
• The straight needle size you need is invariably the one missing its mate
• Woven in ends only poke out the right side
• No matter how many times you count, your cast on will be wrong
• If you buy enough of a single dye lot you will lose at least one ball
• You never have enough of a single dye lot in your stash for the sweater you really want to make
• Your boyfriend/husband/son will never learn which sweaters _aren't_ superwash before taking them out of the dryer
• A cats' fascination with yarn is directly proportional to its expense
• You only misplace patterns before you memorize the repeat
• Colors run most when knit in fair isle or intarsia
• If you want a sweater to shrink, it will only get bigger once washed
• You always read "AT THE SAME TIME" once you've knit the directions that preceeded it
• Your second sleeve/sock never looks identical to the first one
• Hand dyed yarn pools in the most unattractive way imaginable
• If you need 4 DPNs, you will find 3. If you need 5 DPNs, you will find 4
• You will only realize you were knitting with 2 different sizes of DPNs during cast off
• You will learn to hate the color of the sweater you are currently knitting
• No matter how many stitches you pick up around the neckline it will always be too few